I feel like I’m underwater with an anchor to my foot. Like I’m in the middle of the woods lost and surrounded by a forest fire. Like I’m hanging on the edge of a cliff, loosing my grip. A dark room closing in on me. I feel like I’m constantly falling and I don’t know how to stop myself.
These past few months, I have been going through some struggles. I’m in that I take one step forward end up going ten steps back phase in my life. No matter how hard I try or what I do I can’t break out of it. I will feel like everything is fine and dandy then get hit by something from the side that’s completely unexpected. So I wonder some days do I work so hard in life just for this to happen, or should I slow my paceand just keep moving forward without straining myself? It’s hard to say what direction to take because when I try my best to be stepping on my own feet sometimes. So I’m just going. Trying. I may not sleep at night but at least I know my next step by morning. Life can be wonderful and then be too much for the human body and mind. But I keep moving forward. Keep finding my way. Keep trying. I may have not found the solution to life but I found a way to make it through the best I can. I may slip on my stepping stone pat but I keep jumping from stone to stone.
“Not all those who wonder are lost” is my favorite quote from my favorite series of books. If you know what they are we can be friends. I loved the quote so much I have it tattooed on my shoulder to remind me that it defines me. Everyone one has goals,desires,dreams. So did I. But my problem is they really never stay the same. They are ever changing like someone’s clothes. I always have a set path. A direction I am going. But as I go along,something may catch my attention. I know I should probably stick to my original way, but the other is appealing. I may not know what way im going , but I know where I am going to be.