I feel like I’m underwater with an anchor to my foot. Like I’m in the middle of the woods lost and surrounded by a forest fire. Like I’m hanging on the edge of a cliff, loosing my grip. A dark room closing in on me. I feel like I’m constantly falling and I don’t know how to stop myself.
Life is a struggle. It’s hard to live in a world where you can’t decipher good or evil. Love or lust. Friend or foe. Real or fake. Trying to survive in a world of so much unknown. And all you are is atoms living among other atoms. A creature living among the beasts that try to prey on you. A living being trying to find a place in the world but in reality it’s hard when you’re just a speck in the universe. Spending years trying to find your guiding stars and fighting your demons along the way. Life will always be a work in progress.
These past few months, I have been going through some struggles. I’m in that I take one step forward end up going ten steps back phase in my life. No matter how hard I try or what I do I can’t break out of it. I will feel like everything is fine and dandy then get hit by something from the side that’s completely unexpected. So I wonder some days do I work so hard in life just for this to happen, or should I slow my paceand just keep moving forward without straining myself? It’s hard to say what direction to take because when I try my best to be stepping on my own feet sometimes. So I’m just going. Trying. I may not sleep at night but at least I know my next step by morning. Life can be wonderful and then be too much for the human body and mind. But I keep moving forward. Keep finding my way. Keep trying. I may have not found the solution to life but I found a way to make it through the best I can. I may slip on my stepping stone pat but I keep jumping from stone to stone.